


i won't be silent (and i won't let go)

by jbhmalum



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Christmas Miracles, Fluff, Gen, ah i love malum can you TELL, also english isnt my first language so i have no idea how kids speak, also they are Very Young they are 8/9 years old, honestly this is just very cute, hope im not too far off, its like a kid fic but malum are the kids, not like literally but it's what's being talked about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-25
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:06:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28312803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jbhmalum/pseuds/jbhmalum
Summary: In years to come, Michael will look back on this day and wonder how it’s possible he had no idea he was falling in love.-In which Calum asks Santa for a Christmas miracle involving Michael, but if Santa doesn't exist, how is it all going to happen?
Relationships: Michael Clifford & Calum Hood, Michael Clifford/Calum Hood, implied
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	i won't be silent (and i won't let go)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, Merry Christmas to anyone who celebrates!  
> I don't know, I thought of besties malum as kids and of Christmas last night, and just felt the need to write this. May or may not have stayed up until 4am on Christmas eve to finish this.  
> Hope you enjoy! xx

In years to come, Michael will look back on this day and wonder how it’s possible he had no idea he was falling in love.

Right now though, it’s just the last day before Christmas break, and little nine year-old Michael is excited.

He can’t wait for the school year to end, first of all. Michael isn’t a big fan of school. He doesn’t like sitting still for so long, and the other kids are always mean to him, and the teacher always wants him to speak in front of _everyone_. That's incredibly scary, and it makes him cry sometimes, and he hates it. 

He also can’t wait for summer. He guesses it already kind of feels like summer; his mom has been putting him in shorts and t-shirts for a few weeks now, but it’s going to officially be summer very soon, and that’s so exciting. Michael loves the heat. His parents keep saying he doesn’t react well to the sun, but it doesn’t really matter. He's not even sure what that means exactly. What summer means though, is that he can go to the beach and play in the sand and climb trees and not worry about them being too wet.

More importantly though, he can’t wait for Christmas. He’s not too greedy, he doesn’t think, but he still wants to see what presents he’s going to get. They’ve never disappointed him so far, and he doesn’t think they ever will. He also wants to eat a lot of food and to see his grandparents, obviously. That’s never been in question.

However, Christmas break means he probably won’t see Calum for a while, and that bums him out a little. Seeing Calum is the one thing that makes school bearable. And not seeing Calum for a few weeks is what will make the holidays slightly less bearable.

So he has to make sure he spends the most time possible with his friend today.

He’s been looking for Calum for ten whole minutes since recess started, but he can’t find him, which is weird. He’s usually a Calum magnet. Or maybe it’s the other way around, he doesn’t really know how magnets work.

He finds him finally behind the concrete wall at the back of the playground, curled up on himself. Michael should have known to look there sooner.

“Hi Cal,” he says, sitting on the ground next to Calum. “Are you crying?”

“No,” Calum replies, shaking his head into his arms, but Michael can tell he’s lying. Calum always hides here when he’s sad and wants to cry without the other kids seeing him.

“You know you can tell me, I won’t tell anyone,” Michael promises. “And I won’t make fun of you.”

“You won’t?”

“I won’t. Pinky promise.”

He nudges Calum’s bony shoulder next to his, extending his pinky once his friend has lifted his head. Calum takes a moment to wipe his cheeks with his hands, sniffing once before linking pinkies with Michael, a shaky smile on his face. His eyes are sad, threatening to spill with tears, and Michael hates it. He wishes he could grow up and be stronger in an instant, because he wants to fight whatever it is that hurt Calum. He really would do it, if he had enough strength, but he doesn’t. He’s just a kid, as adults like to remind him. It sucks. 

“So,” Michael starts. His finger has left Calum’s, leaving his hand to wander aimlessly and a little awkwardly in between the two of them. “Why are you crying?”

“It’s probably dumb,” Calum replies, his lisp coming out. It’s always more prominent when he’s upset. “Tommy said it was dumb, anyway.”

Michael frowns. He never liked Tommy. “Tommy? What did he do?”

“He told me Santa isn’t real.”

The wobble of Calum’s lips makes Michael’s own mouth curl into a sad pout; the tightness on Calum’s face calls for Michael’s fingers to reach out and sooth out the worried lines.

“Why did he say that?” Michael says instead. He wants to know if Tommy was being mean to Calum. Michael might not be very strong, but he’s pretty sure he can take on Tommy if he puts his mind to it.

“I don’t know, he just did. Is he?” Calum asks.

“Is who what?”

“Santa,” Calum clarifies. “Is he real?”

“I mean, well,” Michael starts, not knowing what to do. He’s known for a year that Santa isn’t real. He’d found a magazine left open on the coffee table, the title on the page reading _how to tell your kids that Santa doesn’t exist_. It was a chance that Michael had been getting better at reading, otherwise he wouldn’t have known.

His mom had told him not to tell other kids, not to ruin the magic. He’d thought that was fair, to be honest. He hadn’t been too heartbroken about it, but he could see how not everyone would react that way. So he’d taken it upon himself not to bring it up, especially with Calum. But now Calum is asking, point blank, and Michael has never known how to outright lie. He feels too bad about that sort of stuff.

Michael hesitates for too long. He can tell he looks guilty from how he feels, and Calum’s eyes widen, too clever not to understand Michael’s silence for what it is. The tears spill over, wetting his newly dry cheeks, before he lets out a whine that almost turns into a sob.

“Calum, it’s okay.”

Without thinking Michael surges forward, looping his arms around his friend’s neck and squeezing tight, as tight as he can without suffocating him. Calum brings his own arms around Michael’s middle, and somehow he squeezes Michael tighter as his tears fall onto the skin of Michael’s collarbone.

“No it’s not,” Calum sobs into Michael’s neck. “How are you supposed to be my best friend now?”

“What?” Calum is speaking nonsense.

“I asked Santa in my letter to make you my best friend forever.”

Michael’s heart soars with joy in his chest at the words, a smile breaking out on his face.

“You did?”

He can feel Calum nod against him. “I did. But that can’t happen now.”

Michael leans back with a frown, watching Calum tear at his bottom lip with his teeth. “What do you mean?”

“Well if there’s no Santa to grant me Christmas miracles, how can they happen?”

“Oh.”

Michael doesn’t really know what to say to that. Calum thinks being Michael’s best friend would be a Christmas miracle. He wants him as a best friend that much. It seems unreal, but mostly, it sounds like Michael’s own Christmas miracle.

The smile creeps back up on his face, hurting his cheeks slightly. Calum looks at him confusedly. It’s adorable, Michael can’t help but think. Calum’s little face is so, so, so cute, even more than the kitten he saw this weekend at the animal shelter. And that’s saying something, because Michael always thinks kittens are the cutest things on Earth. But maybe Calum is better than everything, he guesses.

“Well,” Michael starts, sitting up straighter. “You’re wrong.”

“I am?”

Michael nods. “You are. We don’t need Santa to make Christmas miracles happen.”

“Are you sure?” Calum looks skeptical, but as always, he’s ready to listen to Michael. To trust him.

“I’m sure,” Michael assures. “Here, ask me.”

“Ask you what?”

“To be your best friend!”

There’s hesitation in Calum’s brown eyes, not distrustful necessarily; something more like disbelief. Exactly like someone whose Christmas miracle is about to happen in front of him.

“Will you be my best friend, Michael?” Calum asks eventually in a timid yet hopeful voice.

“I will,” Michael replies excitedly. His heart is dancing happily in his chest.

Calum lets out a small smile, though he still bites his lips, hands fiddling with the hem of his shirt.

“And, huh. Forever, too?”

“Forever,” Michael promises. “I always want to be your best friend. That sounds like the best thing in the entire world.”

“Really?” Calum is undeniably happy now, the tears looking amiss on his joyful face. Michael brings his hands to Calum’s warm cheeks, wipes them with his thumbs.

“Yes, really. You’re my favourite person.”

Calum gasps out loud, and if his smile gets any bigger, it won’t be able to fit on his face any longer. “Even more than your parents?”

“Well,” Michaem says, thinking. “Maybe that wouldn’t be fair. But that’s still true, I think.”

“I didn’t think I’d ever be anyone’s favourite person,” Calum says, sounding awestruck. “Everyone in my family is always ‘Mali this, Mali that’. I think it’s fair, because Mali is really really cool, but it makes me sad. But I can’t be sad, now,” he grins.

Michael shakes his head. “No, you can’t. Because you're my favourite person and I love you and I want to love you until forever.”

“It’s a Christmas miracle,” Calum breathes out, positively beaming.

“If you say so.”

To be completely honest, Michael doesn’t think it has anything to do with Christmas, or with any sort of miracle whatsoever. He thinks it’s just love. He’s still not really sure what that is, but he’s pretty sure the way his heart fills with joy when he’s near Calum or the feeling of calmness that spreads in his whole body when Calum hugs him are what love is supposed to feel like.

Not that he knows anything about anything, he’s just a kid. He doesn’t think he’s wrong about this, though.

He indulges Calum still, because the idea of a Christmas miracle seems to make him happy, and Michael isn’t going to ruin that.

“I love you so much,” Calum says, echoing Michael’s thoughts. “Like that and bigger.”

He extends his arms as if trying to reach the lines of the horizon, and yeah, that sounds like he loves Micael a whole lot.

Michael removes his hands from Calum’s face before they can remain glued to it, bringing his lips to the place they just left in a chaste kiss. When he leans back he can see Calum blushing slightly, so he just leans back in and kisses the other cheek, just to hear the carefree laugh Calum lets out.

That’s the first time Michael’s ever heard this specific sound come out of Calum’s mouth, so unspeakably happy and radiating love and warmth.

“I'll also love you forever,” Calum says, the promise ringing loud and clear in Michael's head.

Michael can't help but smile, and wrap his arms around Calum again, and he never wants to let go. 

As the bell rings, announcing that it’s time to go back to class, and Michael unfortunately has to let go before taking Calum’s hand in his own to help him up, not letting it go until they’re both in their seats and taking out their pens, Michael thinks maybe, there's room for Christmas miracles to make his life magical after all.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading!  
> comments/kudos are always appreciated :)  
> also i'm on [tumblr](https://michaelownsmyheart.tumblr.com/) if you want to come say hi!


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